Idiot Sightings

A friend of mine sent this to me and I thought it was funny.  Enjoy!

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large'enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not.. Four is larger than two..."

We haven't used Sears repair since.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."

From Kingman , KS .

 

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

 

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

We were having a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker, as she was leaving the company due to 'downsizing.' Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side. This was at the Ford dealership in Canton , MS .

 

IDIOT SIGHTING:

 

When I left Hawaii and was transferred to Florida , I still had the Hawaiian plates on my car, as my car was shipped from Hawaii . I was parking somewhere (I can't remember) and a guy asked me "Wow, you drove from Hawaii to here?" I looked at him and quickly said "Yep. I took the Hawaii/San Francisco Bridge". He nodded his head and said "Cool!"

What's On David's Zune? June 23,2009

This was a diverse, but very good list that got me through part of the morning.  Check it out:

Video Killed The Radio Star—Buggles

You’re My Better Half—Keith Urban

Word of God Speak—MercyMe

83—John Mayer

Sleepyhead Sun—Chris Rice

Basic Instructions—Burlap To Cashmere

King Without A Crown—Matisyahu

Let There Be Rock—AC/DC

Breakfast At Tiffany’s—Deep Blue Something

Breaking The Habit—Linkin Park

The Ride—David Allan Coe

What If—Creed

It’s Over—The Fire Apes

Down To The River To Pray—Allison Krauss

Still Called The Blues—Buddy Guy

No, I'm Not

I stopped by the library this weekend to pick up a few movies and I also picked up a few CD’s.  One that I picked up is one that I had in high school and has always been a favorite of mine is Yes, I Am by Melissa Etheridge.

The interesting thing about any art form is that it can hit you different at different times in your life.  This particular album really struck a chord with me (no pun intended) because of it’s passionate (some might say erotic) lyrics and it’s gruff blues sound.  These are strengths of Etheridge as she seems to bleed all over her music, especially in this album.  Strictly, from an artistic standpoint, this is an incredible album.

Most everyone knows about Melissa Etheridge and the mystique that surrounds this album.  Supposedly, Yes, I Am is the answer to everyone’s speculation that she was a lesbian.  And sure enough, right around the time of this album, she did confirm that she is indeed, a lesbian.  Seen in this light, these passionate lyrics take on a different understanding as you really feel her personal struggle with this issue.  The opening song, “I’m The Only One” can be seen as her struggle with her jealousy toward another woman.  Her ode to being out of control, “If I Wanted To” seems to show a struggle with her feelings for another person and how she would change them, if she only wanted to.  This song assumes that one’s sexuality is out of their control.  “Come To My Window” suggests, like many songs, that she cannot live without her love.  “Silent Legacy” none too subtely suggests that silence is not the best way to deal with this issue of sexuality.  “I Will Never Be The Same” suggests that she will never be the same after this…whatever this is.  “All American Girl,” one of the better tracks on this album because it seems like it’s the only one not pushing an agenda, still contains the lyrics, “How could she keep the baby; she could barely keep her head.” 

I could review every one of these songs and find some sort of agenda with them.  When I first heard this album in 1993 as a senior in high school, none of this jumped out at me then as much as it does now.  And it’s not just the blatant sexual references or the gay theme to this album.  The humanist worldview of Etheridge shines forth in this as she promotes finding your happiness in your partner or something other than God.  As a believer, I understand how dangerous this thinking is and it is made even more dangerous by its subtlety. 

Here my advice: Appreciate this ground-breaking album for its catchy blues rock sound and passionate and well-written lyrics, but be aware of its agenda and recognize when works of art start preaching to you and what exactly they are preaching.

John Calvin's "Of Christian Liberty" Section One

Section One: Connection of this chapter with the previous one on Justification. A true knowledge of Christian liberty useful and necessary. 1. It purifies the conscience. 2. It checks licentiousness. 3. It maintains the merits of Christ, the truth of the Gospel, and the peace of the soul.

We are now to treat of Christian Liberty, the explanation of which certainly ought not to be omitted by any one proposing to give a compendious summary of Gospel doctrine. For it is a matter of primary necessity, one without the knowledge of which the conscience can scarcely attempt any thing without hesitation, in many must demur and fluctuate, and in all proceed with fickleness and trepidation. In particular, it forms a proper appendix to Justification, and is of no little service in understanding its force. Nay, those who seriously fear God will hence perceive the incomparable advantages of a doctrine which wicked scoffers are constantly assailing with their jibes; the intoxication of mind under which they labour leaving their petulance without restraint. This, therefore, seems the proper place for considering the subject. Moreover, though it has already been occasionally adverted to, there was an advantage in deferring the fuller consideration of it till now, for the moment any mention is made of Christian liberty lust begins to boil, or insane commotions arise, if a speedy restraint is not laid on those licentious spirits by whom the best things are perverted into the worst. For they either, under pretext of this liberty, shake off all obedience to God, and break out into unbridled licentiousness, or they feel indignant, thinking that all choice, order, and restraint, are abolished. What can we do when thus encompassed with straits? Are we to bid adieu to Christian liberty, in order that we may cut off all opportunity for such perilous consequences? But, as we have said, if the subject be not understood, neither Christ, nor the truth of the Gospel, nor the inward peace of the soul, is properly known. Our endeavor must rather be, while not suppressing this very necessary part of doctrine, to obviate the absurd objections to which it usually gives rise.

What's On David's Zune?

I’m starting a new segment on my blog that I used to do on my podcast.  This segment is called “What’s on David’s Zune?” or could be called “David’s Infinite Playlist,” but something that is copyrighted per the movie with a similar name.  Anyway, from time to time, I will be bringing you the listing of songs that I listened to that day on my playlist.  Here is today’s list:

 

Bring Me To Life—Evanescence

Be Wary of A Woman—Darius Rucker

Break Free—Decyfer Down

Rock On—KJ-52

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room—John Mayer

Makes Me Wanna Sing—Stryper

Ex Cathedra—Alan Renkl (Excellent Podsafe Song Available at music.podshow.com )

I Want It All—Queen

Orange Blossoms—JJ Grey and Mofro (Another great blues song that is available at          music.podshow.com )

Set It Off (Tweaker Remix)—P.O.D.

Mansions—Burlap To Cashmere

Beautiful—Creed

Lose Yourself—Eminem

The Other Side of the Fence—Jonny Lang

What’s Going On—4 Non Blondes

It’s Been While—Staind

Last Kiss—Pearl Jam

Fiat Jokes...

...courtesy of my friends at cartalk.com

Since Chrysler and Fiat are merging, they are planning on producing a new car.  What do you get when you cross a Chrysler with a Fiat?

A LARGE car that won't start!

How do you get spare parts for a Fiat?

Just follow another one around.

What's the difference between a Fiat and a Jehovah's Witness?

You can close the door on a Jehovah's witness.

What occupies the last 6 pages of a Fiat owner's manual?

The bus and train timetables.

How do you get a Fiat to go 60 miles per hour?

Push it off a cliff.

A friend of mine went to a dealer yesterday and said, "I would like a gas cap for my Fiat."  The dealer said, "Ok...sounds like a fair trade to me."

What do you call a Fiat on a hilltop?

A miracle.

How about 2 Fiats on a hilltop?

Science Fiction

3 Fiats on a hilltop?

A weird place to build a Fiat factory.